R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
