"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
