If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
