I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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