the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I see more hoeing in ur future
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