Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
