Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
