remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
