yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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