Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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