End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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