Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
