my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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