You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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