Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
