So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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