We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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