Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
