Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
