My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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