Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
