Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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