You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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