I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
