I heard we made out
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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