...so i touched it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
