My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
