She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just pee around me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
