he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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