The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
