playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
