So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
