Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
