she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
