If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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