Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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