i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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