if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
