haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Mom said you looked used
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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