i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
