Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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