just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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