Sponge bath it is.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
