I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont even know how to be here
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
