I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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