You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
