Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well I just put wine in my tea
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize