She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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