we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
