I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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